


Five Things Memes

by thornsilver



Category: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Laurell K. Hamilton, Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Five Things Memes, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 04:32:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16967742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thornsilver/pseuds/thornsilver
Summary: What is says on the tin.





	1. Top Five Things Invented/Created In Mother Russia According To Chekov

1\. Astroglide. Mentioned several times to several different people, none of them Jim T. Kirk.

2\. Internet. Mentioned only once during accidental time-travel to 1990 United States. Did not get laid.

3\. English language. Uhura shunned him for two weeks.

4\. The wheel.

5\. The "Happy Birthday!" song. Chekov maintains that Spock agrees with him on that one.


	2. Top Five Supernatural Creatures Anita Blake Has Not Slept With, But Probably Will At Some Point

1\. A Kappa. But then Anita have never traveled outside the US and kappas are not much for immigration.

2\. A Ghost. They are mostly incorporeal, but hope springs eternal.

3\. A Unicorn. But with all shit that happens to her, certainly re-virginization is not completely impossible.

4\. A Jinn. Because she still have not figured out what that lamp does.

5\. Baba Yaga. Because Anita does not speak Russian and did not understand the bone leg suggestion.


	3. Top Five Things Odo Likes To Be While Spying On People

1\. A chair. If the person is cute, he becomes a soft chair.

2\. Curtains.

3\. Farengi headwrap. (Why do you think Quark does not wear one?)

4\. Latinum. You'll be surprised how fast it travels.

5\. Rene Auberjonois.


	4. Five Most Outrageous Things McCoy Has Claimed Not To Be (I'm A Doctor; Not A _____):

1\. A cook. It's not his fault that everything he is trying to make is always crunchy.

2\. A Vulcan. That time he and Jim got taken prisoner while Spock was on vacation. Jim Kirk becomes more irritating with close proximity.

3\. A butcher. That time when they were stuck on Deisos without medical instruments and he had to take the bullet out.

4\. Jim's Wife. He still doesn't know why Ctothians decided he and Spock were female, much less married the the Captain.

5\. An exotic dancer. But needs must, especially when people are pointing weapons at you.


	5. Five Times McCoy Was Actually Glad Spock Was A Damned Green-Blooded Vulcan

1\. When Spock won Intergalactic Jeopardy, whereupon Mysterious and Very Powerful aliens did not destroy Enterprise.

2\. That time somebody slipped Orion aphrodisiac in their drinks on Base 8. Somebody had to be sane enough to hold Jim down.

3\. When Jim couldn't remember security codes to stop the self-destruct.

4\. When McCoy really needed to know Pi to the 14th place immediately.

5\. When Jim and Spock got married. McCoy was the best man for both of them, but only have to throw the bachelor party for the human groom.


End file.
